Profiling
I don't even know what I'm supposed to talk about here. Am I supposed to talk about myself? Do I give the gritty details of life as an "artist"? Am I supposed to give a history of this site? I rather see this as a small introduction as to why Gosh! exists, but I don't like talking about myself all too much.
Seeing as I don't know where to start, let's try baby steps. I live somewhere in the northern hemisphere where it's hot and always politically snobby. Legally, I am an adult, but mentally, I think I'm still caught up in my childhood. In my free time, I indulge in mostly internet-related activities, such as web design or blogging. Seeing as how I also hate talking about myself, let's digress onto other things. I remember grabbing all kinds of writing utensils and raping away pages of dictionaries and reference books with ugly doodles of abnormal heads with beady black eyes. This was way before I could write, I know. Drawing doesn't have anything to do with memorizing letters or spelling, so I fell in love with this method with the black pen at first grab. Of course, my mom scolded me until my ears felt like falling off and running far, far away. I never took notice of how I could improve at drawing until some people told me they liked how I could do it. It took years for me to realize that anyone can draw, but some don't have the interest nor do they take the time to try and practice. I just had a head start, if you look at it that way, but that doesn't mean that I'm extremely skilled at what I do.
Gosh! has and always will be some sort of would-be portfolio for me. It seems odd to say that right off the bat. I don't exactly treat this site as my oh-so-precious folder of heavenly works I've prided myself on. If any of you have known me personally, my works always end up damaged or lost due to carelessness. I even go far as destroying my sketchbooks after bouts of frustration. It's amazing how little I care for my things, but I do regret making rash decisions in the long run. If I have discovered anything about myself, it is probably that I'm more meticulous about my organization with electronic devices. In contrast with the pile of junk sitting next to my bed, my document folders will be neatly arranged and named precisely the way I want them. I love how they're listed alphabetically.
After my introduction to the web design community, I aspired to open an art site of my own, but it took many years to commence a project that was to my satisfaction, mostly due to the lack of confidence in my own drawing skill. I kept repeating to myself, "When I get better, I'll open one. When I get better, I'll do it!" Although Gosh! is up and running, nothing feels good enough. I also learned never to be satisfied with anything. I find it more of an imperative than a lesson learned. It seems that it's within my thought process that I can never truly be satisfied with whatever I do. Perhaps I don't have much of an ego when it comes to judging my own works. My small ego will lead me to my downfall.
I hope I have voiced myself in a way that people can understand that art does hold a significance in my life. I have loved it for as long as I can remember. I hate it as much as I love it, to the point where I destroy my own things because I keep telling myself to improve. It's just a part of me.